title: Comforting mists author: kimera archive: http://www.kimerascall.lima-city.de/ contact: kimerascall@gmx.de fan fiction series: Rurouni Kenshin by Nobuhiro Watsuki PG: 16 category: romance written: 28.09.2003 disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki. Special Warning: No native, so lots of mistakes, foul metaphors and overall abuse of the English language ^.^ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ ~X~ Comforting mists I hit the bar with the determination to drink me silly and black out, no matter the consequences. Ignoring whistles and cheering, I went as straight as I could manage to the counter of the western-styled club, keeping my head up high. My new gala dress shone in Chinese silk, a deep, intense green like the sea close to my hometown did in long, hot summer periods. The embroidered dragons snuggled around my slim waist, entangled with each other to face the twin just above my breast by bowing their heads, circling the decollete merely concealed by a long shawl of the same quality. It took me three months to finally create this unique ensemble, and I just loved it. It made ME feel loved and special, a beautiful, strong, graceful wo-man. Ordering a hot plum wine, I climbed the strange, high stools the Westerners seemed to prefer while drinking... maybe due to their strange clothing-habits? The bartender granted me a careful glance, weighing the possibility of displeasure caused by my entrance, clearly hoping I would take my leave very soon since they did not serve "ladies of the escorting business". Sipping the sweet, shiny liquid, I relaxed slightly. The night had just begun, the air became chilly and I needed to get close to a stove due to my wounds. Broken bones could tell about the weather as I knew too well, and MINE did work in cruel dedication to the saying. Some jerk edged next to me, tipping my shoulder, a stupid grin nearly tearing his fleshy face in halves. "Oi, Missy, wanna share a jug of sake, eh?" A foul wind passed my nose, a literally breathtaking offer which I refused in polite words. Getting drunk in here would not be that safe after all, I reconsidered, but right now I did not want to stir, just taking a little rest before I had to lift my torn body to the next stage of constant pain called life. "Oi, you're being rude, Missy! Ya a fucking Chinese whore?!" Sigh. Well, this was to be expected since my dress looked quite foreign and expensive, adding the continuing rows with Chinese sailors and soldiers at sea or the coast of China. A war dawned. "Just leave me alone already." I retorted sharply, glaring at him, reaching for my dagger. No word to the wise, as he clumsily arose, his blank face bearing the simple anger of a macho who cannot take refusals. "Man, sit down or get lost, you're blocking the lights!" An amiable, smooth voice interrupted the growing tension. My opponent managed to turn around to watch out for the owner while I smiled relieved. "Whaddaya want?" He stumbled over to stare down at a white jacket flashing the proud Kanji of evil, one of the last two members of the infamous Sekihoutai, Sanosuke Sagara. He must have lost due to his foul mood, and I would not consider it a very prudent idea to grab his strong shoulder, especially since it took the force of a titan to spin a man like Sanosuke around. Sanosuke spared the dumb macho the bother, rose to his feet, a slender, well-built fist-fighter with a notable reputation and a high stamina, just about my age. "Told ya to get lost, dumbass, so move it or I move you!" He shouted, as always a fish-bone dangling from his mouth. The poor, simple-minded idiot punched Sanosuke right into the solar-plexus... with no effect as had to be expected. "Moron." Sanosuke scolded, his big chocolate-colored eyes darkening. Then, in a swift move, his opponent went flying nearly horizontally out of the door, opened by a grinning guest who seemed to have witnessed that stunt before. "Some guys just don't know how to value a game and a lady." The infamous smirk enlightened Sanosuke's amiable features as he bade his partners farewell and took the seat by my side. "So, Kama-chan, how ya doin'? Guess ya didn't wanna ruin yer posh dress." He hazarded at my motive to wait for his aid. "Nice to meet you, Sano. Wanna share a jug of sake with me, stud?" Teasing him was so rewarding as he never hid his emotions, the big grin nearly swallowing his face as he eagerly nodded. ~X~ The second jug of sake was nearly drowned, when I could no longer resist the constant heat his suntanned body radiated: I snuggled to his side. He was an easy-to-be-with-pal, he never backed off as some others did in my past. He did not mind that I was what I was: a man in a woman's dress. "Ya tired?" He asked politely while encircling my shoulders with one arm to support me. I sighed profoundly. It was not just the body which had had enough for a long time. My soul, my mind, my spirit... everything was worn out. Sleep brought no refreshment, no peace, nothing more than a mere black-out before another nightmarish episode in my life. Sometimes I couldn't tell anymore whether I was still alive or a walking dead and nobody bothered to tell me. Closing my eyes, I enjoyed his scent, sweet and slightly sweaty, his tender caress at my arm. Snuggling closer as to take advantage of his caring warmth, I stupidly forgot about my freshest injuries and squirmed, nearly tearing my beloved dress apart. "Hey, Kama-chan, what's wrong? Ya hurt?" He whispered, his big, deep eyes searching my red-tinted ones. Too embarrassing... but I could not flee from his inquiring gaze, gritting my teeth to breathe away the pain. I should leave... as long as I was still able to move. "Hey.." His warm, rich voice dried out, his arm left my tense body to shiver in the chilly air, carefully striking some strands from my cheeks. "Com'on, tell me, what's it? Can't let me sit here and my lady in sorrow." He teased in earnest undertone. This was so unfair.... trying.... I yearned to give in, I wanted to hide in his arms, I longed to dash out my flaws and failures, no matter if he despised me. It did matter, of course, but I was too tired to bother anymore. Encircling his broad, sturdy shoulders I bedded my heavy, throbbing head close to his ear luring desperately. "Take me in for the night, Sano." ~X~ It was easy to be with Kamatari. Or Kama-chan which he seemed to like better. He frowned when he was pissed, he smiled when he was happy, he teased and flirted and I didn't mind a bit if he was dressed up. In fact, it was rather cool. I liked to be around people who stuck to what they were, no matter what and Kama-chan was something else, unique and a nice pal. It was fun to walk off with him in front of the gaping bunch of my friends who didn't know about the guy beneath the cover of the stunning beauty, adding that he acted like a man when we were together, no girlish whining or shit. Meeting him in that bar, pale, too quiet for his usual joyous attitude, his beloved green dress... he had told me about it, a shiny armor, designed to gather his last strength to face the world like my jacket. I didn't mind lifting him in my arms and taking him to my home.. well, a little, cozy shed, but a home was a home, no da? After that fight with the raccoon girl, Kamatari's knee had been severely damaged so he kept on limping, no longer able to fight as he had been used to. Sometimes I wished I could have seen him fight with his scythe, his fast whirling and spinning, his rare technique. Must have been very impressing... and keeping his opponents at distance. That was a strange fact about him: even as a bait for the government, in his fashionable dresses, he managed to keep the people from him. Just admire but do not touch. Obviously, I was an exception to that rule, maybe because we were close at age and stuck, no future at sight. Astonished, aren'tcha? Well, I was no dope, I did know SOME things else I wouldn't have managed to grow that old. As we reached my shed, we were both soaked by the chilly mist, so first step was to fire my little oven and undress... which he denied. "Com'on, Kama, we're all guys here! Get off that dress of yers! Ya will catch the snoozing plague if ya don't change. Ya can have my spare jacket." I offered gentleman-like. Turning around to grant him some privacy, I boiled water to pour tea, shuffled around my futon to arrange all the blankets I possessed. Since my buddies were constantly overdue with their rent, I was prepared to host at least four people. Facing Kama, I felt my blood halting instantly. He slowly stepped out of his fallen dress, a puddle of deep-sea-green, his back to me and I inspected everything that he had tried to hide away from me. Scratches of fingernails covered his thighs up to his waist, yellowish bruises disgracing his silky skin, his wounded knee swollen to doubled size. "Fuck." I couldn't help muttering and he turned, nearly stumbling, blushing slightly. Lowering the gaze of his beautiful hazelnut-colored eyes, he tried to cheer me up. "I need some makeup, I guess? But the colors are surely fitting the autumn, don't you agree?" His luring voice perverted to a hoarse sob. His front did not look any different than his back, and I remembered his usually long fingernails being trimmed very short: he had fought in close distance, no doubt. "Who did that to you?" It was hard to keep my jaws from gnashing. Right now I would not have minded beating up the origin of Kama-chan's distress to a bloody pulp. My fists itched sizzling the air around me. I couldn't stand people who mistreated women, it just went under my skin. Crossing the small distance between us, I hugged Kama-chan fiercely, carefully caressing his back, not minding our nakedness at all. He felt so skinny, so tense.... his fingernails digging into my shoulders as he desperately tried not to cry. I didn't want to press his already weary state, so I helped him down to the futon, fetching my first-aid-kit, a kind donation of the fox-girl. Knowing about injuries of all kind in the first place, it was not that difficult to nurse his wounds... at least at the surface. Somebody had tried... to rape him, that was obvious. Not the ordinary row. He lay still, patiently turning and moving as I asked him to, his eyes closed, trembling slightly at every contact. "I am not going to hurt ya, Kama-chan." I mumbled over and over again to ease his tension. Understandably he did not want to be touched. "It was Chou." I hazarded inspecting his reaction closely. Yeah, I thought so, as Kama-chan flinched, trying to shrink. "Don't know why that old bastard signed that fucking broomhead in!" I grumbled., "He's a pain in the ass to the least." "... because he will fulfill your worst expectations, without deception." Kama-chan whispered lowly, grinning in tears. "Damn, I can't even keep that asshole away anymore!" He sobbed, turning his head to the side while his body rewarded every movement with agonizing pain. "He will pay for that!" I swore fuming while carefully sharing the blanket, covering Kama-chan's frail form, lifting him into my arms. "Com'on, Kama-chan, don't cry! He's not worth it. Forget about him while yer with me, will ya?" ~X~ You would not guess it by watching him. He seemed brash, impatient, not in control of his mighty force but his hands moved tenderly across my skin, caressing, smoothing away the pain, the humiliation, my self-hatred. His kisses rained my body, my face, my lips... and he tasted so familiar, of sake, of sweets, encouraging, comforting, heartwarming. His smile danced above me, his big chocolate-colored eyes sparkling in the golden light of the fire nearby. Everything about him lulled me into sweet oblivion. A caring, loving sun... that must have been the core of his soul. Closing my eyes, I returned his favors, tracing his muscled torso, his small hips, his slender legs, boldly grabbing his rear. He chuckled lowly. "Yer being naughty, Kama-chan!" Winked, forgot about his constant swearing. "Just making friends." I smiled, kissing his nose tip while ruffling his eerie hair. "But we agree: no inferior?" He nodded, caressing my cheek with his thumb. "No inferior." ~X~ Hope, ya were not too shocked, seeing me with a guy, infighting and all? Well, no business of yers anyway, but I chose my futon-mates by their character, not their gender. Okay, I liked them spicy, hot and adventurous! Could ya blame me? See! I liked Kama-chan and as a man of honor, I should keep my trap shut, but ... he was gorgeous. He entrusted me as I did, so there was no arguing about who would be where and do what... the usual bullshit. We were holding tight, exploring the features, sharing and taking it to the top... as friends, as equals. Watching him sleep at my chest, his breath teasing my skin, I was able to forget about his wounds for now. How could anyone mistreat him? He was stronger than he looked, for sure, but he had lost a lot of his self-confidence after the incident with Misao. We were both lonely... trying to hide our pain by acting jolly and tough. As if listening to my rantings, he sighed in his slumber and I couldn't refrain from kissing his forehead. »Everything will be alright, my friend! You'll see.« ~X~ A breeze from the frosty heart of winter... Sensing his ki, I got up at once, entangling with the blankets and hitting the futon with a suppressed curse of pain and impatience. Why couldn't I just remember that I was a cripple now?! "Oi, what's up?" Sano kept his cool, relaxed state, sitting up and assisting me nonchalantly, facing the fearsome Hajime Saitou, former captain of the third unit of the Shinsengumi calmly. I couldn't follow his example. The haunting amber eyes of the famous wolf of Mibu bore a death-sentence for me. "Get out." He growled, baring his impressing fangs, his hand at the hilt of his sword, little beads of water covering his form. "Hey, now, stop it, old man, will ya? This is MY home, and Kamatari is MY guest! Who do ya think yer are, hu?!" Adjusting my staggering movements, Sanosuke stood by my side, confused and angry. Everything was trembling so hard, I could merely get into my dress, grabbing my small bag and the shawl. The wolf watched on alert with every fiber of his body. My only coherent thought was running, fleeing the fast I was able to manage. Sanosuke kept on swearing and insulting, their usual habit when meeting each other, a little taken aback that Saitou did not answer back, no sarcastic remarks, no malicious smirk. "Hey, alright, what's going on here?! Are yer deaf, old bastard? Listen, Kamatari's been injured, he needs a rest! And ya'd better look for a replacement of Chou since I will kick that fucking molesting broomhead to the end of the world, hear me?!" When Saitou took a step into the shed, I flattened against the nearest wall, hugging myself fiercely. He had always taken an interest in Sanosuke. They had been connected somehow, the air was constantly sizzling when they met... but his amber eyes never froze like that before. Because of me, being with Sano. On his futon Naked. Strange, girls were to us who we loved both genders no competition, since we couldn't change our body, but another guy... was different. Profoundly different. He growled, the sound of a wolf about to attack. While darting out like hell, I managed to enlighten Sanosuke. "It's not about me, it's about YOU!" ~X~ Ye Gods, what the fuck was going on here? Kama-chan shivered and trembled like he had met a ghost, Saitou lost his witty speech... I just didn't get it! What did he mean, 'it's about me'? "Okay, old man, yer done it! Kamatari's gone, that what ya want?! He's injured, it's fucking cold outside and ya've nothing better to do than freak him out of here?!" Saitou just watched, blocking the door. Damn, I was getting cold, too. "And what's that stuff about me?! Do ya think I am not good enough to be friends with your officer?! Too much intermingling with the fucking duty?! Or are ya just a stupid blockhead who thinks a guy can't be with a guy, hu?! Answer me, ya dickhead!!" My worst insults... at least the ones I thought he would not let pass uncommitted without chopping my head off. He kept on staring. Okay, so maybe he never saw a guy naked before. Damn, now I was going to be sarcastic because he ain't! This was fucking ridiculous! Brushing his side, I got to the door, glimpsing at the mist outside, the darkness and cold. "Fuck, yer such a miserable bastard, driving Kama-chan out." Shutting the door, I didn't know how to react to his strange attitude. "Now dash it out already! Yer jealous or what? Can't I just enjoy a little company without you chasing me?" Rubbing my hair, I nearly missed the little fraction in his stoic appearance. My heart skipped a beat. Just a fucking moment.... Turning to face him which was kinda nice since we were both the same height, I inspected his strange, amber eyes closely. "Yer ARE jealous" He kept quiet. Damn. He would not lie due to his samurai code of honor and he would not deny something... true. I had to grab a wall for support. "Yer joking, right? Yer not starting to like me, old man, no da? One of yer bad ideas of freaking me out, hu?" He did not even wink. I had to swallow hard, catching my fleeing breath. Ruffling my hair with both hands, I had no idea how to proceed. "Damn... that's.... kinda shocking...." Watching his cool impression with a sideways glance, I opted for my usual attitude towards confusing, scaring trouble ahead. By becoming aggressive. "Fuck! So what?! Ya want me to live like a fucking monk?! Else ya will drive away anyone I wanna be with?! Forget it, Saitou!! I am not as disciplined", I mimicked a spat to the ground, "as yer are! I can't just store it away. I need action!" Clenching my fists, I was ready to rumble, to prove with my skills that I would not, not ever, let my libido be ruled by a cold, cruel wolf! He made a move and I crossed my arms to meet the punch... but he did not strike out. Instead, loosening his belt, his sword went down, followed by his gloves while he undid his uniform jacket in a restraint manner to keep his stance. Another step keeping me gaping: the jacket met the floor, the skintight shirt being the next item till his trousers dropped at his feet. He stepped out, easily, never releasing his bewitching glare into my eyes. Both naked, we stood, our breath mingling. He slowly bent to cover my lips with his and his spell refused me to draw back. Admittedly, I wouldn't have done so, too curious to get to know his taste. His kiss started tender, no tongue-action, mixing our saliva to a special blend. Then his ki inflamed suddenly, with such violent might that I had to grab his arms for support. It was so intense, luring, intoxicating, addicting.... I just couldn't get enough. Saitou wasn't cold at all. Burning from the inside, an immense heat consuming me rapidly. "I am not being inferior!" I managed to stutter before kissing him aptly, encircling his similar muscled torso to keep tight. Licking my ear, he growled hoarsely. "You'll miss the best, rooster". Next instant, he covered my body with his feral attention on the futon. The world was tumbling, spinning... I had to blink again and again, for I could not believe my eyes. »This can't be Saitou!« The man straddling on my lap, howling lowly in his dark, rich voice, his jet-black strands confused in a beautiful manner around his face which was not haggard anymore, the amber eyes burning golden, his nearly unscathed skin gleaming. He moved fast, demanding, bearing his fangs, every restraint gone. Struggling to get up to my elbows, I met his lips in another passionate kiss, pushing hard, welcoming his howl down my throat as he collapsed in orgasm. Biting my neck, he breathed laboriously, softly chuckling, enjoying my patting on his rear. "Sounds like yer having fun!" I remarked slowly, collecting my hormone-flooded brain cells to comprehensible speaking. The malicious smirk returning, he grinned at me, teasing with a nibbling kiss at my lower lip. "You could join, by refraining from your refusal of being inferior." He suggested. "Somehow I AM being inferior right now!" I pretended to grumble, caressing his shiny, jet-black strands. Damn... I knew he was Hajime Saitou, the evil enforcer, Mr. Aku Soku Zan, somewhere about 30... but, fuck, he acted as horny as me! And he just looked devastatingly hot... young.... spicy..... "Found something you like?" He smirked, covering my side, one leg interfering with my own, slowly rubbing my crotch with his thigh. Panting, I had to shake my head violently in disbelief. "....'jime, you're freaking me out! Why didn'tcha hit on me earlier?!" Chewing carelessly at my unruly locks, he contemplated... or went on teasing me like he usually did. "Because", he hesitated, checking my eyes with his intense amber ones, "it took some time for you to meet my skills." Frowning, I drew back, rising to sit up, arms crossed. He chuckled... Yeah, right, I did look like a pouting child but, damn, what did he mean 'to meet his skills'?! Kneeling between my legs, the wolf got on his fours, massaging my hips and rear, twinkling in my eyes in merry amusement. Suddenly he grabbed my buttocks hard, lifting me to connect with his groin and hit the futon again, my wrists fixed to it by his strong hands. Kissing me lazily, he whispered. "I wanted you to be strong, proud and yearning for me." "Yearning?!" I blurted out (like the idiot I sometimes was). "I was not yearning for you before...." »But.... can it be true?« Was he the reason I couldn't leave, standing the constant chitchat of the lovebirds Kenshin and Kaoru, wasting my life in brawls and gambling holes? The jet-black strands caressing my cheeks, he smiled at me gaping, crossing my legs behind his back. "This is our secret, Sano. Let's just go along, okay?" I couldn't believe my ears... which was not that strange, for he was already rubbing my crotch again and I stood to alert.... he was asking my approval?! "What... about Kama-chan? We didn't do anything like this..." I felt obliged to strain his patience. "He will be safe., He growled, attacking my throat, licking my Adam's apple to stop me from talking. "'kay!" I gasped, grabbing his nape to repay his visits to my lips. A wolf and a rooster... what did you know... ~X~ Sitting at my window, I watched the mist, a dark sea of showering beads diffusing the night, a few lights, the red lanterns, swimming in an endless pool of nothingness... Depressing and comforting the same. My little sorrows were none to this dark world. Like my existence. »Get your sorry self together, Kama! You're not some stupid girl, mooning about someone.... like maybe Sano would do... with Saitou.... howling together...« Sighing, I got up. Some guys just had all the luck... ~X~ Powdering my skin with the scented dust, I felt a little released from the tension. An enchanting flavor, a tasteful dress, shiny hair, some minor color to my eyes and lips: it made me feel valued. Sometimes I loved being myself, I liked my appearance. Some other time, I hated my crippled knee, my fear of getting close to someone, my desperate endeavor to live a decent life after my engagement for Shishio. And I loathed myself for fleeing Chou, having to endure the humiliation of calling out for help to prevent being raped. Frowning, I reached out for a yukata as the door burst into my room. Chou!! ~X~ Frozen to the spot, my hand in midair, my only thought went the line of: my dagger waits at my futon.... out of range. The mist would swallow my cries... now I was done... His eerie eye was open, his grin hungry as he approached. He wore my scratches with nonchalance, massaging his crotch with one hand, coming closer. There was a shadow... one moment later, a swirl, some muddy thuds... and Chou was gone. I started to breathe again, shaking, sinking to my knees. A blanket covered my frame, a white hand offered to help me up. Blinking, I dared to look up... meeting a pair of crystal-blue eyes behind silky, black strands. "A...Aoshi?!" Keeping his unmoved expression, he guided me to my futon, his trench-coat glistening with beads of water. "I suggest you take a rest." Taking off his coat, he moved over to block my shattered door with a small bureau. Snuggling into my blankets, I watched his smooth movements. We had sparred at Shishio's fortress, distracting the tiring period of waiting for Kenshin. My whirling scythe meeting his technique of flowing kenpou-stances: we had been fast and lusting to meet a fitting combatant. "Why are you here? In Tokyo?" Heating the oven and throwing the soapy water out of the window, he gracefully sat close to my futon, his composed face inspecting me. "I was at Sano's, saw you fleeing, so I followed you after checking on Sano." "Is he alright?!" I rose, forgetting about the blanket. "Ah." Sighing, I rubbed my blank arms. "So they finally got to terms... some guys just have all the luck..." "You will catch a cold." He remembered me, his huge sword sheath resting on his crossed legs, apparently planning to be my bodyguard for the night. How humiliating... "You don't have to stay here, now I have my dagger...." »Clumsy..« "I don't think he will show up again.... " Aoshi did not stir. ».. maybe already meditating...« "You can't fight anymore." Glaring at him, I hissed. "Don't be deluded by that! I can take care of myself, alright?! Next time, I smash his ugly skull and get rid of his stupid broom!!" "How?" Grmbl.... why did he have to ask that right now?! His blue eyes met mine. Turning away, I sank deeper into my futon. "I am alright, thanks. And if you insist on staying, take some of the blankets else YOU will catch a cold." No movement. "You know, you don't have to act like the super-samurai around me. Just take some blanket already, or get into my futon!" Now I heard the tiniest sound of rustling cloth and one instant later he glided beneath the blanket at my side of the futon. His skin was so cold that I wondered how he managed to simply move... turning, I accidentally brushed his skin. Once I had walked into him while he undressed to use the bath at Shishios... I had never met anyone who bore so many traces of a painful life and all these wounds had been old... the wounds of a child. He drew back, cautious. "I am sorry!" »Stupid reflex!« Carefully picking some strands out of his blue eyes, I tried to smile encouragingly. "Guess, we're just too scarred to take a chance..." »Stupid pun.« "Come with me back to Kyoto." Blinking, I stared at him in wonder. "You... you want me to...go back with you?" He smiled... my jaw hit the futon... "I don't want to push you into a decision. Misao is going to marry next spring and I need ...a partner..." He trailed off. Grinning, I had to suppress a giggle. Aoshi Shinomori, the former leader of the Oniwa banshu used a pronoun and asked for someone to assist him?! "You told me not to act like the super-samurai." He teased, timidly playing with my strands. "Will you show me how to defend myself?" I boldly asked, nuzzling closer as his body became warmer with every moment. "I will." He vowed, his former, cool expression flashing, then, there was a cute twinkle in his blue eyes. In a misty night, bruised and battered, I fell in love. Seeking for shelter and comfort, finding a friend and a partner. We guys just have all the luck ^_~ ~X~ The end ~X~ Notes of production Just another sketch that came up while I busily tried to work through my huge to-do-list... I am still intrigued with the Rurouni stuff and I think, there's another one in my first language coming up, so be aware... ^-^°